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And me and my friends left offerings to the ghost of our cafetorium, who we blamed for the curtain getting stuck, props going missing, odd noises, and that day that the lights turned off and every door in the vicinity slammed shut. I worked so hard on school plays that one day I passed out in the bathroom during fourth period from malnutrition. I was frequently involved in love triangles.

I’m trying to think of anything I can say about how much I used to love this movie but all I can say is that, in my defense, I was 15 and desperate to sing well. ‘There is More to Love’ is one of my favorite musical theatre songs to this day. I even listen to Aspects of Love, which is a terrible Andrew Lloyd Webber musical but I feel it has some great solos. Phantom leads to Les Mis, leads to Miss Saigon, leads to Cats, leads to all those overblown ‘80s musicals and some of the ones in the ‘90s. I am a 15-year-old drama kid who hasn’t yet discovered Rent and decided that that must be the best musical ever. It is a masterpiece to me and gets me really into musical theatre. I’m 15 or about to turn 15 when it comes out.

Maggie McMuffin feels a deep and unshakeable shame for once loving Andrew Lloyd Webber’s campy-but-not-campy-enough Phantom of the Opera.

Butler phantom of the opera costume shirt